A Layered Eulogy of Change

Change is good, change is the only constant in life, and change is inevitable. If you change nothing, nothing would change. Right. How many times did we hear this or read this? I could sit down and list thousands of inspirational quotes that preach us to change. Don’t get me wrong, I am a firm believer that change is not only good but great. I have had my own share of experiences of change. Some led to greatness and some led to, well how I should put this, epic failures. Yep, I am only human and I am nothing even close to being perfect. I know that by now. Simple. Yesterday, I stumbled upon a post on social media, surprisingly not about Pokémon Go, with this quote, ''All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward" by Ellen Glasgow.

I read it loudly to my colleague and then we both thought it sounded wise, deep and smart. And then I said to myself but what does it really mean? Change usually happens when we are unsatisfied with a situation. Could be weight, could be jobs, could be location, could be partners, you name it, but these are the most googled changes, we, people usually strive for. We are unsatisfied with a particular situation and wish to change it. We work on it. And when change comes knocking on our door, we assume it is for the best. BUT, yes there is a but, that is not always the case. Change could also bring very negative consequences and you find yourself in a shit-hit-the-fan situation! So the change you were impatiently dying to achieve, could end up putting you in a more unfavorable situation than the one you were originally in. So you welcomed change with open arms and it backstabbed you, what to do next? Some of us continue with it. We don’t admit that it was not the right move. We stay in denial, and run away, in other words, we simply don’t deal with it. We blame and see everything else wrong and not us. No, it’s never us. Well because you are always right. Right? Good for you, keep saying that to yourself for the rest of your life and if you are happy then I am happy for you. Some others, take a step back, go back (if that is an option) and try to make the best out of it, until it’s time for new opportunities of change to kick in again, opening the path to a brand new zero. And then some of us, including myself, take responsibility and try to make a sense out of it all, reflect, try to find answers, analyze over and over again (it doesn’t help or make sense but we still do it), find meaning, do soul searching activities, and eventually come to the point where we say, ok I know shit has hit the fan, and it’s ok to feel like a piece of shit. No emotions are taboo. I acknowledge it, I allow myself to feel it, and by "it",

I mean all that shittyness, I mean like really feel it, wholeheartedly, with all my body and soul, for as long as it is required to feel all that shitfullness (= shitty mindfulness moments), until I learn from it and simply let it go.

It is only then that comes a breakthrough, it doesn’t necessarily mean growth but it is the kind of change where everything starts to make sense again, and you make sense again... Moral of the story? You cannot let change reach its peak without 3 magical words:

Let. It. Go.

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